Control
by Kaiva Lukain
Summary: Control is one of the most important things to Sachiko, but Yumi makes her loose control. So what shall she choose? Her beloved control, or her beloved Yumi? Eventual M, but for now T
1. Prologue

Control

Pairing: Sachiko x Yumi

Rating: PG-13 to M

Disclaimer: blah blah I don't own, blah blah. Contains femslash, if you don't like it...how on earth did you find marimite?

Author's Note: Well, I am planning on making my chapters longer than this one…call this a test one. So the continuation depends on what people think. I think this story would turn out to be quite long, as I'm not a fan of instant resolution, but that again, depends on feedback. So read, review, and I'll write. Sound like a deal?

Anyways, the story is set a little after the first episodes, during the whole play arc. Enjoy.

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Control. There was nothing more important to Ogasawara Sachiko. Her family ingrained that principle within her to the best of their ability, and Sachiko followed that principle to the best of her ability. She became the best at everything her family presented her with, doing her best to be the one in control. But recently her iron clad control, practiced over her many years began to slip. All because of one person – Fukuzawa Yumi. Her petite soeur and her, well, just her petite soeur.

Standing at the statue of the Virgin Mary Sachiko offered her usual prayers – to be the best for her family, to be the best for the Yamiyurikai, to be the best for her Onee-sama – but she also added another prayer. To be strong and keep a hold of her control for everyone. Sighing slightly Sachiko remembered not too long ago how she had run from the Yamiyurikai, how she had crumbled in her petite soeur's arms in the greenhouse, crying out all the frustration in her body. An event like that could not happen again Sachiko knew. It made her appear weak, and that meant she was not in control. All at once voices flooded into her head, taking the shape of her family, and they each reminded her how much responsibility she had to carry; she must not lose control.

Sachiko barely stifled a scream, barely kept control, as a hand touch her arm. Looking sharply at the owner of the offending hand Sachiko relaxed as she saw it was only Yumi. Yumi was good, Yumi was safe to loose contr-

No! Yumi was the reason for her losing control. It was never okay to lose control. Staring, Sachiko kept her disapproving gaze on the hand, and slowly, apologetically, it retracted. Moving her cool gaze to Yumi's deep eyes, Sachiko winced internally as she observed the hurt and fear in those eyes. Yumi always tried so hard for her, and she never was able to give back in any way.

"A-are you okay Onee-sama?" Yumi asked carefully. Composing herself, fixing the small tear in her control Sachiko paused before answering. "Of course Yumi," Sachiko replied, keeping her voice icy calm. Unfortunately her supposedly calm voice had the opposite effect. Again hurt welled in her petite soeurs eyes and Sachiko couldn't muster up any words of comfort. She opened her mouth, but she just didn't know what to say. Everything that she thought Yumi wanted to hear, she couldn't say, it would make her weak. So she was left with nothing. Sighing Sachiko closed her mouth again, turning away from Yumi's hurt eyes, and walking to the school building. Not sensing Yumi following, Sachiko almost looked behind, ready to forgo control just this one little bit, but stopped as Yumi's presence touched against her back. Ignoring her throbbing heart Sachiko convinced herself once again, that it was all she could do, because she must maintain control.

***********

Yumi hurried to the statue, afraid her Onee-sama had left her; she was after all, late. But when she arrived she was relieved to see Sachiko-sama had not left, she was in prayer. Reaching out a hand Yumi felt the need to re-establish contact, as if the weekend had removed her from her Onee-sama. But while she felt the initial warmth of contact, it was the only warmth she felt until she got to class.

Sachiko-sama had fixed her hand with a pointed stare that felt like flames in their disapproval, and Yumi, once recovering from her shock and embarrassment, retracted her hand. Yumi couldn't believe she actually reached up and tried to touch Sachiko-sama, how stupid could she be? Though she was now her petite soeur, Yumi knew that she was nothing too special to her. Sachiko-sama was loved by everyone, including Yumi, but with all those admirers, it was hard for Yumi to believe Sachiko-sama cared at all about her feelings.

"A-are you okay Onee-sama?" Yumi asked tentatively. Looking carefully at Sachiko, Yumi saw a small facial tick, a sign that something was wrong, but she was shot down immediately by her important person.

"Of course Yumi," Sachiko said dismissively. It was as if nothing Yumi said truly counted. It was the same cold, calculated response that any random person would get from Rosa Chinensis en bouten. Jerking back slightly, Yumi felt her eyes well with tears. Why did she bother becoming Sachiko's soeur? She knew that no matter what, she'd never be more than some fan, and why she chose that for herself was beyond her. A small bit of hoped surfaced in her though when Sachiko opened her mouth, perhaps she was going to say she missed Yumi over the weekend just as Yumi missed her, but her hope was extinguished as Sachiko just closed her mouth again. But not only was it extinguished, but it was stomped on as Sachiko just turned away. Now her onee-sama wouldn't even look her…

A small whimper nearly left her mouth, but Yumi stifled it. She didn't want to be more of a burden then already she was. Realizing Sachiko had left her behind, Yumi moved quickly to catch up slightly and walk behind Sachiko-sama. Behind, that's where she was supposed to be...


	2. Chapter 1

Control chapter 1

Pairing: Sachiko x Yumi

Rating: PG-13 to M

Disclaimer: blah blah I don't own, blah blah. Contains femslash, if you don't like it...how on earth did you find marimite?

Author's note: Okay, so here is the continuation, as promised it is somewhat longer, and I suspect each chapter will be a little bit longer just because that is how the action is flowing. There will be a bit of a reference to a Rei/Yoshino relationship in the future I think, just so you don't think I'm being too focused on Yumi and Sachiko.

Yumi sat down at her desk like a zombie, barely registering the other students around her. She sat quietly and stayed still. In someone else, Shimako perhaps the behavior would be normal, exemplified even, exactly how a good student of Lillian behaved. But, it being Yumi, it was a terrible occurrence; it meant that something was not right. It was like watching a candle that had its flame snuffed out.

"Yumi? Did something happen? Yumi?" Eventually Yumi realized that people were calling her name and focused on the ones around her. Her entire class seemed to have converged on her desk, looking at her. A flash interrupted her vision and she noticed Tsutako next to her. She also realized a hand was on her shoulder, a hand that belonged to Yoshino.

"Are you okay?" Tsutako said putting her camera down on the desk, a rare thing for her. It was not often that Tsutako believed her camera was not her priority. She also didn't know that she was echoing Yumi's previous question back at her, so she, and quite a few others, was shocked to see the question bring about terrible results. Yumi's eyes filled again with tears, and she sunk her head into her arms, trying belatedly to hide her tumultuous emotions.

'Are you okay' simple words, but usually they met with complicated answers. Usually. When the person answering cares about the person asking, then they would give the honest and complicated answer. When the person answering doesn't care about the person asking, then they give the fake and simple answer. The go away answer. Sachiko pretty much told her to go away. Unable to answer anything, which was better than Yumi faking an answer in her opinion, she just stayed silent.

"Please Yumi, tell what's wrong," Yoshino urged, her curiosity getting the best of her. As much as Yoshino loved her friend, she couldn't help her own mind, and right now it was concocting some of the wildest stories. Yumi could be in trouble for a gambling debt, or she was a witness to a grisly murder, or…she had an overactive imagination.

Yumi tried to hide from everyone's prying eyes, but felt her resolve crumble when Yoshino's plea hit her ears. No doubt the girl was making crazy stories fit for the movies with the little information she had. Sniffling still Yumi answered, her voice muffled by her position. "I…I just…my heart hurts…"

Tsutako and the others looked confused at Yumi's answer. Her heart hurt? A small voice wafted up, "should we call the nurse?" But the voice was silenced by Yoshino. She understood what Yumi meant. She understood what it meant to have a heart hurt. This was serious, she needed Rei…

******

Sachiko looked at the door to the student council building in surprise, her face frozen in the expression she had when it was closed on her face. A somewhat apologetic, somewhat disappointed Youko refused her admission into the building and told her to "go home and do some serious thinking". What on earth could possibly going on? Slowly turning away Sachiko walked wherever her feet took her, which happened to be the greenhouse. Sitting down somewhat numbly all Sachiko could focus on was how nothing seemed to be working out; in fact she was being quite selfish. She was so self absorbed she didn't notice Yumi hadn't met her, that Yumi was still nowhere to be found, and that something potentially terrible with one of the members of the Yamayurikai was occurring.

Still feeling numb Sachiko dismissed the intrusion of a person coming upon her. "It is so bad you needed to step out for air?" Mifuyu queried sitting daintily next to her one time idol. Sachiko, too removed from her emotions, barely registered confusion on her face prompting Mifuyu to continue. "The emotional breakdown of your soeur? I would have thought you would be the one comforting her…" Mifuyu didn't mean to sound harsh, she really didn't, but it was a little hard to believe that Sachiko would be so selfish as to not know something happened to her soeur. Even if she wanted to be cold and uncaring, she would at least know the facts of the occurrence, right? Plus, Sachiko didn't seem to be herself, and Mifuyu assumed it had to do with whatever happened to Yumi.

"Yumi?" Sachiko finally murmured. Here was more shock on shock. "Ah, more troubles…" Again, Sachiko was normally in control of herself, but as it concerned Yumi, that control was nowhere to be found. Her complaint split out of her lips before she registered how selfish she was being, or how she was sounding to her classmate, but the hard slap to her face brought her around.

Sachiko felt as if she had woken up from a dream the moment Youko-sama's hand hit her face. All at once sensation flooded into her body. Fear of disappointing her family and friends made her eyes well with tears, fear of losing Yumi made the tears fall, and the pain of disappointing her onee-sama made her reach out for the comforting embrace offered to her. She had suddenly become aware of the world besides herself, and it was not a pleasant opening of doors, it was a crash landing from space.

What made it worse was that, once more, sobbing, she had lost control.


	3. Interlude Mifuyu's Insert

Control – Interlude Mifuyu's Insert.

Pairing: Sachiko x Yumi

Rating: PG-13 to M

Disclaimer: blah blah I don't own, blah blah. Contains femslash, if you don't like it...how on earth did you find marimite?

Author's note: So I was writing the previous chapter and almost switched into her perspective, so I just stopped, put some spaces in the story, and wrote the perspective shift. I was actually quite impressed with it, so I cut it out, put it in its own document, and viola! Here is Mifuyu's insert.

[Mifuyu's insert]

I'd never seen anything like what I did that day. First of all, I never thought Sachiko-sama would act the way she did. She seemed utterly uncaring about her Yumi, which I know to be untrue. I've seen firsthand how close they are, so watching Sachiko-sama like that was beyond odd. It was like I was seeing her up close, the way people saw her from afar. It was like she became the perfect porcelain doll everyone, including I at a time, thought her to be.

Second of all, I'd never seen Rosa Chinenisis they way I did. She is always so distant, calm, but she actually slapped her petite soeur – slapped Sachiko-sama. In a way I wish I knew what was going on, but I also recently realized, that information such as that was not meant for me. I was not someone close to Sachiko-sama, as much as I want to, and I was not close to the others of the Yamayurikai either, and my continued interest, was nothing more than encouraging gossip that hurt them. That is why, recovering from my shock, and a look explaining my silence to Rosa Chinenisis, I left.

That moment was a test of my resolve I guess. It is not very difficult to say that I would no longer try to insert myself into Sachiko-sama's life, but it was another thing to do it. Now I know, that I suppose by even talking to Sachiko-sama, approaching her, was breaking that, but I didn't think so. I believe in my heart, that if any student had looked as frozen as Sachiko-sama was, I'd try to speak with them. I believe that it was my genuine worry, not my meddling curiosity and my drive to be noticed by Sachiko-sama, which made me sit next to her. Hopefully my heart is not leading my astray, but I have a good feeling that is lifting my spirit.


End file.
